When Life Gives You Lemons - My Story
Life is constantly challenging us. Life throws us curve balls. And then life gives us lessons.
I want to tell you about the latest lesson that life has taught me. And why it is going to have such a big impact on my health. (Don’t worry I keep this story quite light hearted!)
I haven’t posted in a while. Things have been quite crazy on my end.
If you’ve been following my journey on Instagram you’ll already know that 3 months ago I left London (and took my very handsome English boyfriend with me) and moved back home to Melbourne.
I spent 6 whole years in London altogether. The 6 years had many chapters, many lessons learnt, many ups and downs, and many dirt-poor days (expensive city to say the least!)
Leaving the life I’d created and the friends I had made in London was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I questioned my decision constantly. What if I’m not happy back home? What if I regret it? But at the same time, I knew I needed to go home, refresh myself and be closer to my family.
Luckily for me, Australia isn’t a hard place to convince a partner to move to… the conversation went a bit like this…
Me: “So I wanna move home. Do you wanna come with me?”
Alex: “Yeah cool let’s go.”
After spending 2 months living with Alex’s parents in London (to spend extra time with them before we left), we then moved in with my parents in Melbourne.
Being home was a surreal feeling. Being the anxious little soul that I am, I am prone to overthinking things! I began questioning everything again. Am I happy here? Should I have left London? WHAT THE F**K HAVE I DONE?
Nah I wasn’t that dramatic.
Turns out I was really happy. It just takes a while to settle back in after being away for so long.
New House, New Job
I’m not gonna lie, after living with mum and dad for 2 months I was getting a little bit antsy. I love them so much, (hi mum & dad), but I also needed my own space again. Alex and I had been planning this relocation for a while and we were ready for it to be just the two of us. So we started looking for rentals.
I had also started modelling again in Melbourne and landed myself another part-time job with a buyers advocate company. Which doesn’t interfere with my modelling because I choose the days I work (THE DREAM!)
After modelling for almost 10 years I felt the need to challenge myself with another job. After having no prior experience in the industry, the team believed in me to help run their social media marketing (which I actually know quite a bit about after starting my own blog and running my own social media!)
[ Side note: Remember how I started this blog so it could give me direction and possibly lead me to something in the future?! TICK ]
[ Extra side note: Don’t be afraid. Take a chance. You never know where it will lead you. ]
Anyway back on track, after looking at about 12 properties we found “The One.”
We stayed up until midnight putting together our first application. We made ourselves sound like rock stars. (Not literal ones that party and do drugs – just like very cool, responsible people.)
Five days later we were approved! Five days after that we got the keys!
All of a sudden we had an empty home with no furniture to put in it. One month later (to the day), I sit here and write this post from my desk, in my pretty pink chair.
Stress Kicked In
From the moment we got the keys up until last weekend, was a month of stress. Moving house is hard enough alone. But then everything that could go wrong seemed to be going wrong. And I realised I wasn’t dealing with it very well. Here’s a basic rundown:
I started a new part-time job that I felt way out of my comfort zone in (I couldn’t get to sleep at night thinking about it)
I was learning how to juggle this job with my growing modelling schedule (my diary was like URGGggg what is going on?)
We moved into a new apartment (yay) and we were sleeping on the floor
Did I mention we had no hot water?
Yeah, we had no hot water FOR 3 AND A HALF WEEKS
Every cold water tap in the house leaked
Under the kitchen sink leaked significantly and was going mouldy
Our fridge was far too large for the fridge space in the kitchen (this was actually quite amusing).
The power plug behind the fridge then didn’t work
The light in the bathroom constantly flickered
Toilet didn’t flush properly
1 window didn’t close, 1 window didn’t open
And then one day my car broke.
I was driving home from work on my lunch break to let the plumber into the house and I lost my power steering and my window got stuck halfway down and wouldn’t go back up. (I’m laughing as I’m writing this because it’s funny to look back on but at the time I was like “WHY IS THE UNIVERSE AGAINST ME!?!?)
After about 100 phone calls, and countless back and forths between the body corporate and my landlord, we FINALLY had hot water!! I wanted to kiss the plumber on the lips after he’d fixed it, but I’m pretty sure I literally pushed him out the front door so I could have a hot shower.
By the time we had hot water, we also had a little bit more furniture in the house. I remember one day letting out a huge sigh of relief. Things were finally falling into place.
Although, I felt like I hadn’t sat down in weeks. I truly hadn’t given myself a break in that time. My neck muscles were tight, and I was exhausted. I woke up one Saturday morning in agony and spent the whole day being sick into a bucket by my bed.
I had been hit with one of the worst migraines I’ve ever had. It lasted 4 days, and by the 3rd day, I was in hospital.
The Life Lesson(s)
For anyone who doesn’t know what a migraine feels like, it’s honestly bloody awful. I spend most of the time moaning in misery and pleading for someone to help me. (It’s dramatic!)
I knew that the stress and anxiety had helped bring on my migraine. I knew what I had done wrong in the process, and I know now that I never want to experience that kind of pain again if I can help it.
Lesson 1: The lesson I learnt (the hard way) is to give myself a break. Even when there are things on the ‘to do list.’ There will ALWAYS be something on that list. Errands to run, people to call, clothes to wash. It’s never-ending. It’s important to do the things you want to do, not the things you have to do.
I have been telling myself for the past 2 months… “when I get everything done on my ‘to-do-list’, that’s when I will sit down and start writing my blog again, that’s when I will get a new book and start reading again, [that’s when I will relax].”
Relaxing must be added to the ‘to-d0-list.’ (And spread throughout!)
Lesson 2: The other lesson I learnt is the danger of self-pity. Feeling sorry for yourself is easy. And its a trap. There are so many negative effects it can have (I think I want to go into this deeper another time). But for now, I’ve recognised its evil.
After these discoveries, I was tested by the universe.
Alex and I had ordered a round dining table. We had patiently waited 3 weeks for it. A few days ago they delivered a rectangle one. We now have to wait 8 weeks for the round one to be back in stock. I knew this was my first test, I knew I needed to take this one calmly. I was pissed at first; angry, frustrated, becoming impatient. But I reminded myself of the effects this kind of attitude has on me physically.
I accepted it and moved on. I haven’t let it worry me since.
I’ve started reading a new book.
And I’ve now written my first blog post in months.